And most relieved I am to have got it over with too! As for how it went exactly though, well that's somewhat hard to really say, partly because it all rather went by in a bit of a nervous and nauseous blur but also because it wont be for a while yet, when I gets my little letter, that I'll really have any idea. At the moment I've no real idea at all as to how I might have come across, but still, it is at least pleasing to have it done and be able to put it behind me, heh though I do now have another thing to wait anxiously on, the really uncomfortable part is done.

Anyways the day began rather unpleasantly, having not being able to find anything much in the way of sleeps and my insides jumping around like a sack of fighting cats. It was further complicated by a phonecall I got from the people wanting to change my appointment time to an hour earlier for no good reason other than that they didn't have much else on that day and wanted to get things over with. Oh, the professionalism! Still, I started to feel a bit better once I had stepped out the door. Such is often the case that when I am just around people my focus becomes less intensely on my own physical symptoms, not that they go away but my attention is drawn to the people around me in case anything scary occurs so I sometimes feel them less intensely. Pushing it down also makes things a bit more bearable if somewhat less predictable.

So anyways, the journey there wasn't the easiest of trips ever but not so bad. The assessment itself though, I have to say, was a mightily peculiar process. I have been through it once before but I don't remember it being quite such a regimented process as it seemed today. The doctor who assessed me, exceptionally softly spoken and generally friendly as he was, could only ask the questions that the computer presented him with, the great majority of which seemed to virtually lack any great significance to my own personal case. What does it matter if I watch the news on TV or not?! It really seems a quite dramatically flawed process now I'm back in the cold light of my energy saving bulbs. Of course it is an assessment of capability and not a diagnosis or counselling session, and it has to be balanced for a broad spectrum of people, but what does my description of an average day and what I do on my own at home add to a picture of how capable or not of work I may be out in the world? I was hardly asked at all on anything I actually felt, of course it's not about what you feel so much as what you can do, but surely the feeling is an intergral aspect of that. So many of the things I had been endlessly rehearsing to say and talk about I didn't get the opportunity to, though of course some of that may be that I'm not so very good at communicating such things of course and I did get to write about that in the forms I filled in ages ago. Still I've no real idea at all of what sort of picture of me that assessment will produce, I find it hard to imagine it being particularly accurate. Still the result can only go one of two ways and how long it will be til I get that is anyone's guess, heh, but my anxieties over that may at least be held at the back of my mind and mayhap I start to get back on with more things of my own.

Needless to say now though I do be a particularly drained and weary creature even despite having had a bit of a nap after getting back from Scarborough. I rather feel like sleeping and hiding away from the world for a good few days, but I've heard there might be some kind of event or other on tomorrow so I guess I'll have to be up that. Heh. Still, time for bed in a moment or so, hopefully sleeps will be restful. There seems to be an impressive draft blowing through the building at the moment and it's even managing to push upon my, really quite substantial hardwood, door. This is having the affect of me jumping out my skin at random intervals and the odd lingering hallucination of there being someone at the door. Not that I got to tell the man about such symptoms though, still I did write it down on the forms. What picture it may all paint of me and my ways is really impossible for me to say but I guess I'll find out in due course.

Anyways it's done and that be good. So, umm, it can be hugs tiem now plees?! *reaches with paws*